She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Randomize
