I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
i jhust puked up my retainher.
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Randomize
