HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize
