i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
Randomize
