dude i'm inner monologue high
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Randomize
