After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
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