Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Randomize