North Korea, Best Korea!
Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
