i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Randomize