if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
