haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Randomize
