It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
Randomize