I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize