I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
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