Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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