Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Randomize
