Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
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