We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
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