Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
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