I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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