i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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