Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
