people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
