It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
