i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
