We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
And then my night got REAL pukey
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize