kristin has been a bad kristin
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
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