Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
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