There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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