My nipple is on Facebook.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Randomize
