She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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