yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
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