i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
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