Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
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