so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
Randomize
