Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
