Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
