We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
Ladies don't puke and tell
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
Randomize
