She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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