$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
