guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
