question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Randomize
