Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
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