so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
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