We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
We need to get me chipped asap
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
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