he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
Randomize
