Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Randomize
