There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
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