Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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