You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize