True but thats because hes a fetus.
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
Randomize
