I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
