I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
Randomize