i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
It's no shave November. This is our time.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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