she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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