it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
