You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Randomize
