So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
Everclear isn't food dammit
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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