He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
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