All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
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